Annie's Social Anxiety and Bipolar Blog

Short Days

2011-12-14T15:25:00.000Z

I am beginning to have had enough of the short days now. I feel ready to do a little more work and hate being stuck at home when I am feeling well. I refuse to work longer hours when they are not paying me to do so. I just need some hobbies to make time at home without Mr R more interesting. I think I will start preparing for a Christmassy Christmas. Still I feel quite excluded from the world

Tough Times.

2011-12-13T11:33:00.000Z

Things are difficult at the moment. As the seasons changed my mood deteriated. People started to notice that I was not my usual self. After a water leak in my flat I had a mini break down. I couldn't cope with everything. I took a few days off work and then went to the doctors. The doctor asked me lots of questions and then recommended reduced working hours for two weeks. This was great. I was

Medication

2011-08-18T18:27:00.000+01:00

My old psychiatrist said to me that once I was in a protective relationship we could consider reducing my medication. I do want to reduce them one day but at the same time I am quite scared. I have had a brilliant 6 months, probably one of the best times of my life. I don't want it to end and I don't want Mr R to be put under any pressure or stress if I become sick. Neither can I afford to

Mr R and the next step

2011-08-16T18:05:00.000+01:00

Mr R and I have been discussing moving in together. I have made it clear that I don't want to do this unless we have a future together and we are in this for the long term. Mr R compared this to the sun coming up in the mornings, the sun has come up every day for the last 6 months and there is no reason to think the sun will not keep coming up. The thing is if we want a good future together

Children or No Children, the dilema!

2011-08-16T17:32:00.001+01:00

I'm in my mid thirties now (34). I told my GP that I was in a new relationship and she really worried me. The conversation started with talking about contraception. That's fine I'm comfortable with that. Then she said I needed a very reliable contraception because of the drugs I am taking which are not suitable if you want to become pregnant. Still fair enough. I told her we were using

Mr R

2011-05-26T18:20:00.001+01:00

It's hard to find time to post recently, I think that's a good thing. Life is going pretty well. I love Mr. R more and more all the time. I spend nearly all my free time with him and time just flys by. He understands depression and supports me a lot when I have a bad day. But not only does he support me he also gets cross with me if I sit around feeling sorry for myself. He makes sure I get

I'm falling in love again

2011-05-04T18:57:00.000+01:00

Things are wonderful with my new man. I wish I could spend every minute of every day with him. I have had a rotten day today, things at work are difficult, my car failed it's MOT . He is home and I have not mentioned my blog yet, best go for now...

iPhone

2011-04-20T19:38:00.001+01:00

I have set up my phone for blog posting. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhoneLocation:Tapas restaurant

a general update

2011-04-15T13:25:00.000+01:00

I am still seeing my R, he is still gorgeous and perfect in every way. He is very supportive of me and encourages me to get out more and walk and stuff. My Mr R left my flat this morning before work and I will not see him again until sunday as I am going to visit my parents for a few days. I have seen the NHS psychiatrist and she basically she noted my history, reassured me I would be able to

Life is looking up!!

2011-02-28T18:09:00.000Z

After about 6 years of loneliness I have finally met a man who I actually quite like, enjoy spending time with and do not feel pressured by. He is still being quite perfect. He sent me 20 red roses on valentine's day, we have just been away for a perfect weekend despite it being cold and wet. We have been together 4 weeks now and I still have not discovered the catch with him. I did not think

Help on the NHS

2010-12-07T20:03:00.000Z

My only contact with a mental health professional these past 5 years has been my psychiatrist who I see through my private health insurance. The problem is my health insurance is paid through work and as I am changing job it will end soon. I went to see my GP this morning about how I get support when my insurance runs out. First of all she said I did not need any further support because I am

I have got a new job !~#{!¬`|\!"£$%^&**(()<@!

2010-12-01T19:45:00.000Z

After about two years of being miserable at work I have finally found the courage to move on. I will be leaving a job which for the first seven years I loved. It is quite scary but I am convinced I am doing the right thing. On the morning of the interview for my new job I was feeling extremely low and did not want to get out of bed. I forced myself as I had been head hunted by a former

When I fell in love, it should have been forever, as I’ll never fall in love again.

2010-11-18T01:16:00.001Z

I am on a flight on the way home from a business trip. I get very lonely on business trips as my colleagues all have family they miss, they ring their husbands, wives and children. They all look forward to going home where I relish their company and wish I could spend more time working with other people. I contacted my ex at the airport, for the first time in years. I have missed him a lot

What if...

2010-11-09T22:09:00.000Z

I am meeting someone this afternoon to discuss the possibility of a new job. I am so fed up and really need the change. My job has changed so much now that I no longer enjoy it. I want something new and exciting in the hope I will once again feel some motivation for life. I keep wondering, what if.... what if I took that other job, what if I did not have recurring depression, what if I was

SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE!!

2010-10-21T20:28:00.000+01:00

My current life is like sh*t, I just want to flush it down the toilet. I am holding out for my hoidays in January. I will use this time to reflect and decide what I really want from life and work out how to change. Change is going to be so hard but I think no change will be even harder. I keep thinking what if I took that job...? Would things have been any better...? Is this just a tough

The dog and the bone...

2010-10-05T23:01:00.000+01:00

A Dog, to whom the butcher had thrown a bone, was hurrying home with his prize as fast as he could go. As he crossed a narrow footbridge, he happened to look down and saw himself reflected in the quiet water as if in a mirror. But the greedy Dog thought he saw a real Dog carrying a bone much bigger than his own.If he had stopped to think he would

2010-09-09T00:39:00.000+01:00

Bipolar disorder 'not to blame for violent behaviour' People with a severe mental illness are no more likely to be violent than anyone else - unless they abuse drugs or alcohol, a study has suggested. read the full story here

2010-09-08T23:41:00.000+01:00

Despite having been awakesince 3am this morning, it is now 11:30pm and I cannot sleep. I stayed in bed for an hour and have decided toget up again. I am starting to yawn but still don't feel like I could sleep.

yeee haaa!

2010-09-08T06:30:00.002+01:00

I've been awake since 3am and got laods of work done. I think my mood is finally turning! I hope it lasts. I know it's not a very sensible thing to get up at 3am and this maybe the start of a hypo period, but who cares!!! I feel better!!! That is the important thing as the depression was getting me down!!! I'll tell my psychiatrist tomorrow.

a better day

2010-09-07T21:28:00.000+01:00

I had a better day today. I went to work, I got a little work done. My appointment with the psychiatrist is on Thursday. i am also getting my haircut on Thursday, that usually cheers me up :o) Work is very difficult at the moment and I am struggling to cope. I do not know if I am struggling because I am a little bit depressed or I am a little bit depressed because I am struggling. WHO KNOWS

nothingness

2010-09-06T14:50:00.001+01:00

Nothing seems to motivate me at the moment. I have lost interest in my career, I am just not enjoying it anymore. I have lost interest in my flat, my cat and everything really. I am half thinking of stopping my medication again, just so I can feel something. I have not seen anyone else all weekend and I called in sick this morning. This means I have not had a conversation with anyone for

Feeling Better Again...

2010-08-01T12:56:00.000+01:00

I'm feeling much more stable at the moment. I stopped taking the aripiprazole for a while and after a while I stoppedthe sertraline too. I am not sure why i did it. The best explanation I can think of is I was frightened of the little blue tablets. They caused me to have some unpleasant side effects and I felt my concentration was very poor. I blamed the tablets for me getting behind at work.

I feel very very blue....

2010-05-19T19:53:00.000+01:00

I don't want to work anymore, I don't want to do anything anymore... My mind is blank :o(!

Where are all the gentlemen?

2010-04-02T10:58:00.000+01:00

I work with some real gentleman, one man I work with got all embarissed at dinner because he was served before the ladies. Bless him! Unfortunately we just don't see these characterisics in younger available men. Where are they all! Maybe my generation will improve as we all grow older but maybe I'm just living after my time. Maybe all the gentleman have been snatched up or maybe they are all

This is how it goes....

2010-03-21T21:24:00.002Z