tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-276060352024-03-14T06:54:10.917+00:00Annie's Social Anxiety and Bipolar BlogAfter struggling with undiagnosed social phobia most of my life, having several severe episodes of depression within five years and finally being hospitalised with psychotic symptoms I am now well into remission.
Life is great, I'm happy to be here and getting on with my life.Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.comBlogger257125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-56567656930245404852013-12-31T09:41:00.003+00:002013-12-31T09:42:16.220+00:00Wanting a babyI have a doctor's appointment today, we want to get pregnant. I'm really nervous as I'm on the wrong side of 36, obese and taking medication. Also have a history of bipolar and a pending diagnosis for ceoliac disease and recurring depression. I'm not expecting an easy journey.Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-88588440797929965752013-12-13T14:14:00.001+00:002013-12-13T14:30:54.143+00:00
2013 is drawing to a close. I have 4 more working days this year and I'm exhausted. I am taking time off from Friday 20 December until 2 January. It will be a much needed break with plenty of rest and relaxation.
Apparently I'm moderately depressed at the moment, I'd call it exhausted and can't concentrate. However much I sleep I don't seem to feel any better at the moment. Everything Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-73732177133470906872013-12-06T15:55:00.004+00:002013-12-06T15:57:27.837+00:00If physical diseases were treated like mental illness
Copied from http://imgur.com/gallery/CWFTYoV
Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-28642537165488700512013-12-03T21:13:00.001+00:002013-12-03T21:13:54.733+00:00Shocking story, unfortunately I can believe it.http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-25204276Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-73897134061287225672013-11-27T14:45:00.002+00:002013-11-27T14:45:58.919+00:00Coeliac DiseaseIt looks like I may have coeliac disease. I have visited the doctor several time over the past few months with diarrhoea, eventually I had some blood tests and one has come back positive for coeliac disease. I'm not sure which of the blood tests for coeliac they did so not sure of the false positive rate, however, I have been referred to the hospital for them to take a biopsy from my small Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-91601396143918648042013-10-17T15:46:00.000+01:002013-10-17T16:09:59.360+01:00Is it Time-To-Talk?
Is it really? I still believe it is difficult to speak out about mental illness. It's not strangers or friends I fear, it is mostly family and colleagues.
I feel regret about my last but one job, as I feel they made too many concessions for me after I spoke about my problems. They cared but would not let me be myself, make mistakes and work through the errors for myself. Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-15377913123338439722013-10-17T10:51:00.001+01:002013-10-17T10:52:30.544+01:00Alice's BlogI can totally relate to this post by Alice, (a time-to-change-blogger) particularly about hiding the depressions and feeling shame and embarrassment about the manic. People will tell me things I am really ashamed of are okay but they are not okay to me. I would never normally do some of the things which I have done when hypo-manic and things I have done cause me great pain as they do Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-51602810917613400992013-10-08T15:21:00.001+01:002013-10-08T15:21:52.019+01:00Petition...
Sign Petition to Demand an Apology for the Headline
Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-38350685887368736922013-09-26T16:37:00.001+01:002013-09-26T16:44:16.821+01:00Halloween CostumesThis makes me mad... 'psycho' costumes
I am one of those who takes offence. How can a costume making fun out of the worse time of anyone's life be good for entertainment! With fear of mental health patients, what do we teach our children when mental health stereo types are portrayed in Halloween costumes. Very ANGRY! I stopped shopping at Tesco sometime ago, if I hadn't Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-28054838731296406282013-09-26T16:28:00.001+01:002013-09-26T16:31:29.316+01:00Married Life
Well I got married to Mr R.
Life just feels more complete, I feel settled and content. I got married at the beginning of July and after a 2 week holiday in the US of A I started work at the University of Oxford. I am only working 4 days a week and it is definitely more manageable however I have had a significant decrease in pay.
To compensate for the reduced pay, I have started Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-91497859201556315952013-05-24T13:18:00.001+01:002013-05-24T13:18:08.219+01:0026.5 Working days to go!42 days, 6 weeks to married life!Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-28333684836245167412013-05-19T21:30:00.002+01:002013-05-20T12:53:59.211+01:0031 working days to go!47 days to married life!
I have a lot to do, this weekend we have bought the dresses for my flower girls, next weekend I am going to London's flower market to plan the table flowers. I have a hair and make-up practice this week, dress fitting in 2 weeks, Hen night in 3 weeks, meeting with the registrar, meeting with the florist. We also have to choose music for the ceremony, the meal and Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-86623366650105154342013-05-14T16:32:00.001+01:002013-05-20T12:52:54.564+01:0035 working days to unemployment!52 days to married life!Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-74540914455439361822013-05-13T13:53:00.001+01:002013-05-13T13:54:29.202+01:0036 days to unemployment!Counting down the minutes!Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-12204931524335828382013-05-10T15:29:00.002+01:002013-05-10T15:30:14.555+01:0037 days to unemploymentI feel sick with the stress of working my notice. A colleague of mine from the US has given his notice and only has to work two weeks notice period compared to my two month notice period. I really don't know how I am going to get through this. I feel sick at the thought of work and I cannot bring myself to do any :(. I'm not ill as I am quite happy and functional in my Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-45466395248921581362013-05-03T13:20:00.001+01:002013-05-20T12:53:22.917+01:00UnemploymentLots has happened since I last posted. The biggest thing is I am getting married in just 9 weeks and 2 hours time. I am really looking forward to married life and initially I will not be working.
I have handed my notice in at work as the stress has been relentless. Although I am reasonably well compared to depressions I have had in the past, work is unbearable. I have Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-72492899792326575672013-02-18T14:08:00.000+00:002013-02-20T14:16:29.061+00:00Wedding Bells!I am officially engaged to be married! The date is set for the summer and plans are starting to fall into place.Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-85986875577530579392013-02-18T14:06:00.001+00:002013-02-20T14:16:39.535+00:00Work sucksGosh I feel blue. Work is really getting on top of me. They hired me two years ago as an expert in my field but they do not listen to anything I have to say. Then when it all goes pear shaped I have to pick up the pieces. All this company seems to want is my CV on their files so they can win business but when it comes to doing the work, they don't listen to anything I haveAnniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-61591608311491843162012-10-08T17:12:00.000+01:002012-10-08T17:12:48.585+01:00Happy Happy Happy!!!!!I have never been this happy and excited in my whole life! Mr. R. and I are getting a house together, a big house with three double bedrooms and a garden. I am so SO excited.
We have also been talking about getting some kittens to live with us and maybe (if I am not too old) we may grow a little person. There has even been talk of rings and ceremonies. I am so excited I can Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-23630851360863641312012-05-09T19:21:00.001+01:002012-05-09T19:23:50.427+01:00Sleeping PatternsOne reason I have been thinking about which may be why I am a little down is my sleep patterns. Does anyone know anything about sleeping too much. Also what about diet and exercise can that help?
I go to bed each night between 9:30pm and 10:00pm and wake up around 8:00am to 8:30am. I get at least 10.5 hours sleep each night. That would be manageable and not a long way outsideAnniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-85958888935820781592012-04-20T19:16:00.000+01:002012-04-20T19:16:00.720+01:00I just found this on YouTube!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmEJEfy5f50&feature=colikeAnniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-50815758477626799732011-12-14T15:25:00.000+00:002011-12-14T15:25:24.635+00:00Short DaysI am beginning to have had enough of the short days now. I feel ready to do a little more work and hate being stuck at home when I am feeling well. I refuse to work longer hours when they are not paying me to do so. I just need some hobbies to make time at home without Mr R more interesting.
I think I will start preparing for a Christmassy Christmas. Still I feel quite excluded from the world Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-52645413381793654682011-12-13T11:33:00.000+00:002011-12-13T11:33:47.960+00:00Tough Times.Things are difficult at the moment. As the seasons changed my mood deteriated. People started to notice that I was not my usual self. After a water leak in my flat I had a mini break down. I couldn't cope with everything.
I took a few days off work and then went to the doctors. The doctor asked me lots of questions and then recommended reduced working hours for two weeks. This was great. I was Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-91687860170843530762011-08-18T18:27:00.000+01:002011-08-18T18:27:44.490+01:00Medication
My old psychiatrist said to me that once I was in a protective relationship we could consider reducing my medication. I do want to reduce them one day but at the same time I am quite scared. I have had a brilliant 6 months, probably one of the best times of my life. I don't want it to end and I don't want Mr R to be put under any pressure or stress if I become sick. Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27606035.post-65907394150776681142011-08-16T18:05:00.000+01:002011-08-16T18:05:51.205+01:00Mr R and the next step
Mr R and I have been discussing moving in together. I have made it clear that I don't want to do this unless we have a future together and we are in this for the long term. Mr R compared this to the sun coming up in the mornings, the sun has come up every day for the last 6 months and there is no reason to think the sun will not keep coming up. The thing is if we want a good Anniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09755145292388103158noreply@blogger.com1