yeee haaa!

I've been awake since 3am and got laods of work done. I think my mood is finally turning! I hope it lasts.

I know it's not a very sensible thing to get up at 3am and this maybe the start of a hypo period, but who cares!!! I feel better!!! That is the important thing as the depression was getting me down!!!

I'll tell my psychiatrist tomorrow.

a better day

I had a better day today. I went to work, I got a little work done. My appointment with the psychiatrist is on Thursday. i am also getting my haircut on Thursday, that usually cheers me up :o)

Work is very difficult at the moment and I am struggling to cope. I do not know if I am struggling because I am a little bit depressed or I am a little bit depressed because I am struggling. WHO KNOWS!!!!

A part of me wants to start job hunting but I also want to make certain I have given everything tomy current job. I would be giving up a good pension, a good income, my private health care and lots of security. But nothing is worth getting depressed about!

nothingness

Nothing seems to motivate me at the moment. I have lost interest in my career, I am just not enjoying it anymore. I have lost interest in my flat, my cat and everything really. I am half thinking of stopping my medication again, just so I can feel something. I have not seen anyone else all weekend and I called in sick this morning. This means I have not had a conversation with anyone for three days!

I cannot remember when my next appointmet with my psychiatrist is. Who cares anyway :o(. Things are falling apart in my flat and I cannot face getting them fixed. I have bills to pay and I cannot find my cheque book.

I still blame the aripiprazole! I want to stop taking those horrible bl;ue tablets that often give me heart burn!

I am watching films and eating too muchin the hope it will distract me.

Feeling Better Again...

I'm feeling much more stable at the moment. I stopped taking the aripiprazole for a while and after a while I stoppedthe sertraline too. I am not sure why i did it. The best explanation I can think of is I was frightened of the little blue tablets. They caused me to have some unpleasant side effects and I felt my concentration was very poor. I blamed the tablets for me getting behind at work.

Anyway about 6 weeks later I went to the US for work. When I got back I sleptfor nearly a week. I went to see my psychiatrist to tell him I had stopped taking the tablets and heconvincedme to go back on a reduced dose. He assureed me the sideeffects were due to an interaction between aripirazole and quetiapine and should not come back now I have completely stopped the quetiapine.

I am now on a lower dose of aripiprazole (just 2.5mg) and back on 200mg of sertraline. I have changed the timing of the sertraline to take 200mg all at the same timerather than 100mg morningand night. I kept forgetting the morning dose before.

I am feeling much better and back in control these days. I hope it lasts. Work is much better too. I have a more manageable worklod and a new boss. I have also moved desks so I have peple cose by who I can talk to. I am getting out more and socialisingso things are really on the up.

My friend had a new baby last week so I off to visit them this afteroon! I must do some housework first tho'.

I feel very very blue....

I don't want to work anymore, I don't want to do anything anymore...
My mind is blank :o(!