Mr R

It's hard to find time to post recently, I think that's a good thing. Life is going pretty well.  I love Mr. R more and more all the time.  I spend nearly all my free time with him and time just flys by.  He understands depression and supports me a lot when I have a bad day.  But not only does he support me he also gets cross with me if I sit around feeling sorry for myself.  He makes sure I get up and go out :o).  He's just what I need.

I do worry a lot though.  My new job is quite challenging and I really don't know whether I am not good enough to do the job or I am just still finding the ropes.  I have sleepless nights about it sometimes.

I get very insecure about work and when I talk to my Mr R I sense he gets frustrated with me and does not feel he can help.  I try to reassure him I am ok and my illness is my problem at the end of the day.  Just being with him makes me feel better.  When I am with him it puts everything into perspective.  All that's important is love and being with those you love, it does not matter if you are cleaning the streets or president of the US, when you're in love, nothing else compares. 

Mr R told me jobs come and go, everything comes and goes but we are for the long term :o)!  We are going out for dinner tonight to one of my favourite restaurants.  I want to go and make myself look beautiful for him.

I keep expecting to wake up and find the last few months have all been a wonderful dream and I will go back to that person who just sits in front of the TV to take her mind off how crap life is.

Mr R knows about my blog and my past now so we have no secrets.  I couldn't imagine life without him anymore.  I hope I never have to. 

I'm falling in love again

Things are wonderful with my new man.  I wish I could spend every minute of every day with him.  I have had a rotten day today, things at work are difficult, my car failed it's MOT .  He is home and I have not mentioned my blog yet, best go for now...

iPhone

I have set up my phone for blog posting.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Tapas restaurant

a general update

I am still seeing my R, he is still gorgeous and perfect in every way.  He is very supportive of me and encourages me to get out more and walk and stuff.  My Mr R left my flat this morning before work and I will not see him again until sunday as I am going to visit my parents for a few days.

I have seen the NHS psychiatrist and she basically she noted my history, reassured me I would be able to see her when I needed to and discharged me into the care of my GP.  I feel much better these day anyway so I just hope it continues to last.

I baked my Mum a birthday cake yestrday, I need to get a cake tin on the way home from work so I can transport it.  It is a sponge cake with Jam and butter icing.  It has cherries and jelli diamonds on top.

I better get back to doing some work, although I am struggling lots today.  but in general I like the job and have passed my probation period.

Oh yes, one more thing, I think I have stopped putting weight on, I just need to loose some now to get back to where I was.

Life is looking up!!

After about 6 years of loneliness I have finally met a man who I actually quite like, enjoy spending time with and do not feel pressured by.  He is still being quite perfect.  He sent me 20 red roses on valentine's day, we have just been away for a perfect weekend despite it being cold and wet.  We have been together 4 weeks now and I still have not discovered the catch with him.  I did not think I would be this happy with anyone elses company now I have learnt to be happy with my own.  We seem to enjoy many hobbies together and everything feels easy.

I also started a new job 5 weeks ago, it has been a bit slow getting started but I am enjoying it.  There is less pressure and it is only a 5minute drive away.  It used to take me nearly an hour to get to my old place of work.

I went to New Zealand for 3 weeks in January, it was fantastic.  Luckily I missed all the earthquakes.