feeling miserable

Here's a photo from my hols, a traditional English seaside holiday! Hopefully to cheer up the post...


I have internet access back, had it for about 10days now. My mood is all over the place as there is a man about who I'm not sure whether is interested in me and I am not sure if I'm interested but think he seems really nice and I'd like to find out. I'm feeling particulary low tonight. I had a few days off work after my holiday as I was really low. Then decided to sort myself out have buzzed non stop for the last few weeks and now my mood has crashed again.

I wish I knew what normal was, maybe this is normal?? Maybe I just try to hard to feel better when I am feeling normal. Maybe that is what sends me hypo! I think the key is to just accept my different moods, not hate them and not fight them! I don't think there will ever be a man who can cope! Isit even fair to impose my moods on others?

Working to the kitchen timmer

I was wondering again the other day whether all these labels put on me and the medication switching was real or not. I have never really though about when I have had clear bouts of hypomania. They usually pass so smoothly aqnd efficiently I only recognise I have been high after the event.

I thought of this example the week before I moved, the more I think about it the more I believe it is not something most people do....

It was a sunday and I had to do some work to do, it was also the weekend before I moved so I had to get a certain amount of to be packing done. To start off with I dithered a lot and flicked between one task and then the other, but then I had an idea and set the kitchen timmer. I did 45 minutes of packing followed by 45 minutes of work. I was so efficient throughout the day I managed to get everything done. My mind just managed to switch on command, everything was so clear and under control.

It was like the usuall anxiety and lack of confidence and fear of failing, then super efficiency kicked in and everything worked like clock work. It was great.....