Friday, June 12, 2009

I'm still about

Just to let you know I am still here. I'm feeling a lot better now and back in remission. I was depressed from the end of November until about April. It was the first significant episode since I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Looking back I guess going toGermany for the day and looking after my Mother while working full time was probably a little eccentric.

I'm back on loads of medication and sleeping far too much. I'm definitely a lot more settled tho' and I have stopped crying on my way home from work! It's not much of a choice to sleep 11 to 12 hours a night or be suicidal every other day! I guess sleeping is the best option tho'. But, I am just sleeping my life away and there is so much I want to do. I'm still much better off than before diagnosis, one episode in 3.5 years compared to 3 in about 4 years is not bad going.

Life goes on and I feel a little stronger and a little more stable after each episode, I feel older and wiser and less disturbed by other peoples opinions of me. Depression is like an education which people who have not been there can never comprehend. I am spending a lot of time reflecting on whether I want to remain single indefinitely or whether I want to find a nice understanding and caring man who I can smother with love ;o). I do not seem to be short of offers but no one has tugged my heart strings in just the right way.