Thursday, October 21, 2010


My current life is like sh*t, I just want to flush it down the toilet.  I am holding out for my hoidays in January.  I will use this time to reflect and decide what I really want from life and work out how to change.  Change is going to be so hard but I think no change will be even harder.

I keep thinking what if I took that job...? Would things have been any better...?  Is this just a tough phase which will pass or have the good times been and gone?

The fact is I am fed up with this stage of my life and ready to move on to the next.  I have no one to move on with tho', everyone else is already there.

I have a caffiene problem, I have a dependence on it.  I guess it is a lot better than illegal drugs or alcohol but the mood crashes and headaches are awful.

Maybe I will try and give up diet coke, I have said this a few times but I get so low and it really picks me up for a couple of hours.  It is only temporary tho' and I crash again in the evenings.  I use the coke to get me through the day at work.

I also eat far too much and I am rapidly putting on weight!


Tuesday, October 05, 2010

The dog and the bone...

A Dog, to whom the butcher had thrown a bone, was hurrying home with his prize as fast as he could go. As he crossed a narrow footbridge, he happened to look down and saw himself reflected in the quiet water as if in a mirror. But the greedy Dog thought he saw a real Dog carrying a bone much bigger than his own.
If he had stopped to think he would have known better. But instead of thinking, he dropped his bone and sprang at the Dog in the river, only to find himself swimming for dear life to reach the shore. At last he managed to scramble out, and as he stood sadly thinking about the good bone he had lost, he realized what a stupid Dog he had been.

If I am offered a new job tomorrow should I take it.  I feel miserable and isolated working for a large corporate company, I had an interview last Friday which went very well and I will hear tomorrow whether I got it or not!  The company is much smaller, the job has a probation period and it will be a lot of work I have not done before.  However the people are more my age and more outgoing which would help socialise.  Decisions decisions...