Help on the NHS

My only contact with a mental health professional these past 5 years has been my psychiatrist who I see through my private health insurance.  The problem is my health insurance is paid through work and as I am changing job it will end soon. 

I went to see my GP this morning about how I get support when my insurance runs out.  First of all she said I did not need any further support because I am considered stable.  I was so scared about falling out of the system and not being able to get support when I needed it she referred me to the community mental health team.  I cried a bit first.

I am dreading them contacting me, my experiance with them in the past has not been positive.  They are generally not interested in how you are unless you are self harming or threatening suicide. If you are not it was call this number if you change your mind.  No wonder people attempt to take their own lives or self harm to get attention.  I promised myself I would never do that but I can climb the walls quite easily and felt so bad I have tried to self harm.  I don't want to get that bad again but I am worried there will not be any support from the NHS until things get that bad.

I am loosing a really good support network along with my job and I need something in place to make sure I do not get that desperate.  I need someone to talk to me, someone seperate from my everyday life who can just help me monitor my mood.  I like to have an appointment in my diary and when things get bad I often feel I am just hanging on until the next appointment when I can get help without asking for it.

I'm really scared about falling out of the system again and not having any help there when I need it :'-(.  I will see what the mental health team can offer but I am very sceptical.  I am thinking I will probably pay to continue seeing my psychiatrist.  I don't believe there is no support for maintenance of bipolar disorder on the NHS!!! 

I have got a new job !~#{!¬`|\!"£$%^&**(()<@!

After about two years of being miserable at work I have finally found the courage to move on.  I will be leaving a job which for the first seven years I loved.  It is quite scary but I am convinced I am doing the right thing.

On the morning of the interview for my new job I was feeling extremely low and did not want to get out of bed.  I forced myself as I had been head hunted by a former colleague and I did not want to let him down.  I am so glad I made the effort. I am comfortable with the decision I have made this time and I have no nagging doubts.

I have handed in my notice and since I have done so I feel lighter and happier.  I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  I am now working my notice. My last day will be 24 December.  On New years eve I leave on holiday for three weeks and on my return I start a new job.

The only downside is I am likely to have to find a new psychiatrist.  At the moment I see my psychiatrist privately through insurance provided by my current company.  Although my new contract includes private medical care it will not cover psychiatric care for any condition lasting more than two years.  I will have to try the NHS.

I don't want to be ill in my new job!!!