Thursday, October 21, 2010


My current life is like sh*t, I just want to flush it down the toilet.  I am holding out for my hoidays in January.  I will use this time to reflect and decide what I really want from life and work out how to change.  Change is going to be so hard but I think no change will be even harder.

I keep thinking what if I took that job...? Would things have been any better...?  Is this just a tough phase which will pass or have the good times been and gone?

The fact is I am fed up with this stage of my life and ready to move on to the next.  I have no one to move on with tho', everyone else is already there.

I have a caffiene problem, I have a dependence on it.  I guess it is a lot better than illegal drugs or alcohol but the mood crashes and headaches are awful.

Maybe I will try and give up diet coke, I have said this a few times but I get so low and it really picks me up for a couple of hours.  It is only temporary tho' and I crash again in the evenings.  I use the coke to get me through the day at work.

I also eat far too much and I am rapidly putting on weight!



Mike said...

Hey. Sorry you're feeling bad. I think it's good that you're going to stick it out for a few months. That will give you time to evaluate your options.

As far as the caffeine goes: I used to have a pretty bad addiction to it. It took a while, but I was able to get off of it. I had to break the routine I was in, and, frankly, had to quit a job that caused a lot of stress and anxiety. I'm not saying you have to quit your job to quit drinking Coke all day, of course, but maybe you could try replacing the Coke with a healthier source of caffeine, like green tea?

Raine said...

caffeine is not easy to give up, especially with the headaches. Its just so easy to have a little and get rid of that headache. I was able to give it up for a while by tapering off but then I started again.