Friday, September 01, 2006

Scared of Change

Today I suddenly understood why so many people don't like change. My boss told me a colleague was returning from maternity leave in November. Things have been going so well since she left, I have taken on loads more responsibility and I now love my job. When I was working with her I felt very stiffled and held back career wise as I had to do as she asked. I now have my own studies and have built good relationships with our customers and I am really enjoying work.

I felt really worried after he told me and my mind went quite blank. I stared at the screen for about 20 minutes, the idea of the change really worried me and frightened me. In the past I have always always been excited by change and looked at things as a bit of an adventure. I never really understood peoples fear of change. I think you have to be happy with what you have to fear change! I think this is one reason why I have never connected with people in the past.

On the way home from work I kind of realised I have never been this happy before. Although a part of me hates being on my own so much I feel I have more to loose now than I have ever had in the past.

I did not feel sorry for myself or sad but I felt really tired like I was about to fall asleep and I had no energy!! I just felt like I wanted to go to sleep.


Raine said...

Oh wow- for me change can be terrifying. Probably because too many times in my life have been out of control and horrifying. If life is in a safe comfortable I totally do not and absolutely fear any change just because in the past so many horrific things have happened. Then there is also the fact that my state of mind is best in a controlled environment. I cycle less strongly if my environment is mellow with no upheavals. If I can just take care of my little house and yard and there are no crises I dont do to badly. Even moving into a house I like better throws me into dysphoria or depression and is overwhelmingly frightening. Sad isnt it?

james said...

Hey Annie. There's a new guy started in my work too. It makes me kind of nervous and uncomfortable.