Work has been a real nightmare, I am so busy I am working every hour I can, I don't have any clean clothes, I have just done the washing up after 2 days of leaving it, I am living on takeaways and starting to feel my grip going. I have not even thought about Christmas and have had to cancel my time off work next week.
I thought, I know, I will ask my Mum to come and stay either this week or next, just for a few days until I am back on top! Just to help me out for a day or two, my Mum and sister are always saying they are here for me and let them know when/if I need them. But rather than her helping (the first time I have ever asked after two and a half years) she cancels the one day she was going to come and help me get a Christmas tree.
I'm thinking of cancelling Christmas this year! I can't cope and all I get is hassle. It even seems like a hassle to receive presents, my sister wanted to know exaclty which colour and make of lounge suit to get me, in the end I said forget it get me slippers (she was getting annoyed that I would not go into shops and try them on, I have not had time) now she is emailing me pictures of slippers.
If I go quiet and need a rest and want to be left alone they ring me 10 times a day. The first time I have ever asked for help not only does my Mum say no but she cancels the one day she was going to come anyway. This is when I need the help, I have a career I love and I am having to choose between managing my illness and my career. I can't go on sleeping 10 hours a day and working 12 hours a day. If I only slept 7 or 8 like everyone else I could work 12 hours and keep on top of looking after myself.
THIS IS NOT FAIR!! IT IS TIMES LIKE THESE I FEEL MOST ALONE!!!!
The people I work with are lovely but I don't want to tell anyone why I am strugling. My boss is the only one who knows my history and he is off on holiday. That leaves my business partners and I really don't want them to know.
1 comment:
yes you can go on sleeping 10 hours a day and working 12 for the time being.Go ahead and put off stuff like trees and shopping. Tell your family work is overwhelming you and you have to rest. They will just have to understand. This time will pass. Next thing you know you will be in an energetic upswing and only sleeping 5 hours.......... ((((((Annie)))) Seriously during times such as these if it absolutely doesnt have to be done then dont do it. Taking care of yourself is a must. Let anything that isnt essential go hun
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