I was wondering again the other day whether all these labels put on me and the medication switching was real or not. I have never really though about when I have had clear bouts of hypomania. They usually pass so smoothly aqnd efficiently I only recognise I have been high after the event.
I thought of this example the week before I moved, the more I think about it the more I believe it is not something most people do....
It was a sunday and I had to do some work to do, it was also the weekend before I moved so I had to get a certain amount of to be packing done. To start off with I dithered a lot and flicked between one task and then the other, but then I had an idea and set the kitchen timmer. I did 45 minutes of packing followed by 45 minutes of work. I was so efficient throughout the day I managed to get everything done. My mind just managed to switch on command, everything was so clear and under control.
It was like the usuall anxiety and lack of confidence and fear of failing, then super efficiency kicked in and everything worked like clock work. It was great.....
Thursday, April 17, 2008
My first attempt to reduce my sertraline did not work. I started well but kept getting sharp anxiety attacks which just make my whole body shudder. They are short lived though. My whole body jumps when I realise I have done something wrong. For example, I said my friend's daughter was in 12-18 month old clothes in front of my friends husband (the child's father). I said this to my parents and their friend. Later on I remembered she was in 18 to 24 month old clothes. As friend's husband had not said anything I start the thinking....... he knows I was wrong, I should have let him answer, he was laughing at me, why didn't he say anything. The fact that I was just wrong in front of him made me shudder. Instances such as this made me decide to increase the sertraline again.
On top of this I have decided to stop eating large amounts of chocalate and biscuits. The sugar rush then the withdrawal from the sugar is not helping my moods. I have relapsed once in the 10 days I have been doing this and that was only about 6 biscuits, not a whole pack. The problem was that I had them for dinner. I had two days off work last week as I was feeling quite low.
Anyway in the last week or so I have felt a lot better, I have been eating healthily and lost a few pounds. I joined the gym again and have been twice. I'm feeling a lot better. The last two evenings I have only taken 75mg of sertraline. So far no shudders! Then again no BIG mistakes.
I'm having a new sofa delivered tomorrow, I had a new TV delivered last Friday so this weekend will be a lazy one sitting on my new sofa and watching my new TV. As I am working from home in the morning I am going to try and sort my broardband out :o).
I'm travelling for work for three days next week, I always find those things challenging. That is not concerning me too much but at the end of May I am going to a conference in Barcellona, that one is really worrying me as it will not be with anyone I know very well and also there will be a lot of external people to meet. The main purpose for me will be networking so loads of pressure there :o(. Still, if I can keep the anxiety under control it should be really good.
On top of this I have decided to stop eating large amounts of chocalate and biscuits. The sugar rush then the withdrawal from the sugar is not helping my moods. I have relapsed once in the 10 days I have been doing this and that was only about 6 biscuits, not a whole pack. The problem was that I had them for dinner. I had two days off work last week as I was feeling quite low.
Anyway in the last week or so I have felt a lot better, I have been eating healthily and lost a few pounds. I joined the gym again and have been twice. I'm feeling a lot better. The last two evenings I have only taken 75mg of sertraline. So far no shudders! Then again no BIG mistakes.
I'm having a new sofa delivered tomorrow, I had a new TV delivered last Friday so this weekend will be a lazy one sitting on my new sofa and watching my new TV. As I am working from home in the morning I am going to try and sort my broardband out :o).
I'm travelling for work for three days next week, I always find those things challenging. That is not concerning me too much but at the end of May I am going to a conference in Barcellona, that one is really worrying me as it will not be with anyone I know very well and also there will be a lot of external people to meet. The main purpose for me will be networking so loads of pressure there :o(. Still, if I can keep the anxiety under control it should be really good.
Monday, April 07, 2008
My New Flat....
My new flat is great. I have not arranged internet access yet as there is so much to do. I was full of energy and buzzing constantly for weeks and now I have suddenly crashed. I feel drained and I am struggling to concentrate on anything.
I am going to leave work early today and re-join the gym. I am hoping the exercise will get me back into a routine and make the daily tasks easier again.
I saw my psychiatrist in early March and he has reduced my sertraline from 100mg to 75mg and then it will go to 50mg in a few weeks. This is becuase the anxiety has not been worrying me for a long time now and my moods have been swinging a little bit. I always put up with the moderate highs and lows because the fear of changing my medication making me relapse to the state I was in before diagnosis.
Once my sertraline has been reduced he is talking of changing my quetiapine to lamotagrine (sp). apperently it has less side effects of drowsiness and weight gain. I am suffering from both of these at the moment.
My mood is so low today it is having an effect on my ability to work and concentrate. I have not been this low for some time. I cried a lot on Friday evening. I had a great day out with a friend on Saturday and yesterday I slept until 2pm :o(. I came to work today although I feel really rough. I didn't want to let people down and I know staying at home will make the automatic negative thoughts start to race.
In all I'm feeling low and lathargic. I need to sort myself out and re-establish a routine :o(. Also I need to get internet access!
I am going to leave work early today and re-join the gym. I am hoping the exercise will get me back into a routine and make the daily tasks easier again.
I saw my psychiatrist in early March and he has reduced my sertraline from 100mg to 75mg and then it will go to 50mg in a few weeks. This is becuase the anxiety has not been worrying me for a long time now and my moods have been swinging a little bit. I always put up with the moderate highs and lows because the fear of changing my medication making me relapse to the state I was in before diagnosis.
Once my sertraline has been reduced he is talking of changing my quetiapine to lamotagrine (sp). apperently it has less side effects of drowsiness and weight gain. I am suffering from both of these at the moment.
My mood is so low today it is having an effect on my ability to work and concentrate. I have not been this low for some time. I cried a lot on Friday evening. I had a great day out with a friend on Saturday and yesterday I slept until 2pm :o(. I came to work today although I feel really rough. I didn't want to let people down and I know staying at home will make the automatic negative thoughts start to race.
In all I'm feeling low and lathargic. I need to sort myself out and re-establish a routine :o(. Also I need to get internet access!
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