Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The City Cathedral

I wandered off into the city this morning. I got the tube. I am starting to feel more confident in European countries now. I worry a lot about the British stereo type of never trying to speak the language, assuming others just know English and not making the effort. I think this has all come from the French though. I have never heard it from anyone else!

Anyway, I went to the cathedral today, it was quite nice I kind of feel a presence when I go. I do not know if it is the old buildings or some sense of religon. I kind of feel warm and supported. Like I am not alone. I lit a few candles and prayed too. My mum told my dad off in a cathedral once as he lit a candle. She said you were only suppose to light them in remembrance of someone. I had lit one too for a friend of hers (who was always good to me). I never told her! I never went to church as a child so I do not know what I am suppose to do. I like that sense of warmth but would not dare talk to anyone. I liked the visit more here in Spain than at home in the UK. There were more people about, confessions were being made and a service was going on in one of the side rooms. It did not feel so weird.

I am really starting to blame my family for many of my fears and anxieties. I feel so guilty about that but I am learning that nothing they told me and the fears they put in my head are unfounded.

Got to run, my taxi to the airport will be here in 10 mins.

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