The Cold Snap is Awesome!

Happy New Year

Resolutions for 2010

1. to get up, get dressed and make the bed before switching on the computer or television.
I have bought myself some nice new bedding, a digital radio and a fan heater to help me here.

2. to post on my blog at least once a month.
I have had requests from a few bipolar and counselling sites about using my blog as a source of information for their readers. At this point in time I am not comfortable with this. However, this is in line with my motivation for starting the site and I like to think it could be used in the future.

The old favourites
3. loose weight.
My current weight is 11st and 7lbs, before the medication it was 10st and 0lbs and for several years after starting the medication it was 11st and 0lbs. My weight is now at a stage where I am bordering on obese and it is starting to worry me more and more :o(. I have an appointment with my GP tomorrow and this will be at the top of the list!

4. keep a work life balance.
Easier said than done but essential for my health and also a broader perspective will help me decide if I want to continue working for the same company or expand my horizons.

In 2008 I made the following resolutions
1. Watch less television, listen to more music and be more active. I currently spend too many days in front of the televison.
- this didn't really work out for me, I have some evenings now where I don't put the tv on but overall I am still a couch potato. My first resolution for 2010 is suppose to be a smaller and more manageable step in this direction.

2. Have my own flat and be moved in by next Christmas!
- done!

3. Continue to try and expand my social life.
- done!

In 2007 I made the following resolutions
1. lots more friends, some friends I can ring and say, hey, do you want to go to the pub tonight!!
I have found a social meetup group in my own town and the last few months I have been out with them quite a few times. Most of the people are quite a lot older than I am but nevertheless I enjoy their company, I get out and try new things and I am making new friends! There is definitely much improvement in the last two years!

2. loose weight, my medication made me put on a stone so I am going to have another attempt at shifting it!
Still no progress here, unfortunately I have put on even more weight and I am considering discussing alternative medications with my psychiatrist.

3. be happier
Well, I'm doing ok but bipolar is for life :o(.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Looking to the future...

I have been thinking for a while that I need a new challenge and a new focus in life. I have joined a social group and been out with them a few times. It is a really nice group and they do all sorts of activities. I have been out with them three times ow and I am going to go for a meal with them tomorrow evening.

I have applied for a new job. I had two telephone interviews last week and I have also done some psychometric tests online. The tests were really difficult though so I am doubtful I will get further. I really want to though as this sounds like the perfect role for me.

I am also seriously considering doing a trek to Everest base camp for charity next year. My Mum has offered to help me with the fundraising. I think it will be a great focus for me and take my mind off of work for a while and give me something to get fit for. I had a good work out at the gym this morning thinking about how I am going to to try really hard to get properly fit now.

I do feel a lot better now, I really need to enter a new phase of life. I was starting to feel fed up and bored. I would not say depressed, I just had nothing that made me want to jump out of bed in the mornings.

I plan to start posting regulary again too.

Being Blind and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

I was lucky enough to visit the Dialog Museum (http://www.dialogue-in-the-dark.com/) earlier this month. I went with colleagues from work so we were in a relatively large group. You go into the museum and everything is completely black. You have a guide for the group who is blind and leads you through the exhibition. It was a brilliant experiance. I did not stop talking for the whole hour, I may have pissed people off because of it but in reflection I would not have swapped the experiance for anything.

It really made me reflect on social anxiety. If I sit there and do nothing and say nothing it makes me disabled. Taking away my vision and making me rely on talking to others to know where to go and having to use my voice to comunicate was enlightening. I could not watch and follow so I had to talk and ask.

As most of my job involves working on the telephone I may as well be blind in my dealings with other people. I need to speak up and ask for help when needed. Today I had a break through on applying the cognitive behavioral therapy I learned some years ago. I started to worry that my management were discussing me and both planning what to say to me and when to deal with me as I was being needy. I asked one if they were coordinating their responses and when he said no I was able to completely break that cycle of automatic negative thoughts :o).