Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Contemplating Life

I have not been to work today, I overslept as I could not sleep last night. I have been thinking about what I want to do with my life, at every stage a voice comes into my head about what other people will think. I do not consciously think I must do this or I must not do that because other people will disapprove. The voice of disapproval usually sounds like my sisters or my mothers. Life is tough enough trying to make your self happy and content, from now on I am going to climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow, until I find my dream!!

For the time being this may mean loosening the ties between myself and my mother and my sister. Not in a way they would notice but I am not going to allow their opinion to influence my mood so much. This is my life no one elses!

I have always had a very clean-cut life, always doing the right thing by other people and worrying what others think. I am going to take a risk, the people I know well may see a change, the thought of loosing their respect or friendship terrifies me. However they do not and cannot fulfil my need for love and companionship! I need others and to do that I need to go out there and let my hair down!!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're even better than you think you are!

Go girl!

Anonymous said...

I wish you the very best.

Reaching out and making new friends can be tough. Anyone at work worthwhile socializing with after hours??

Raine said...

I applaud you. Other peoples opinions of you dont matter at all. Its what you think of yourself that counts. They dont live in your skin and feel your joy or your pain. Let em think what they like....perhaps they enjoy it:P

Anonymous said...

Rebecca,

I get on just fine with the people at work but they are all married with families and just do not socialise out of working hours :o(

Annie

james said...

This was a positive post Annie. I hope your new approach will work for you. Please keep posting because its great to find out how things are going with you.

Anonymous said...

I am not going to stop posting but my PC is out of order right now, I hope to get it fixed in the new year :o)

Annie