The thing is though, have I just got behind at work because I have been staying up late at night. My mood has got worse because I have not been eating properly and I'm just over tired and a bit fed up or have I got myself into a hole because my moods were not stable in the first place.
I wonder if I just hide behind my diagnosis as it is easier than sorting my life out. Everyone has moods and I am just wondering if I suffer anymore than anyone else. I have a comfy job, working from home 50% of the time right now. I feel really lucky. I feel a bit worried about taking advantage and using my illness as an excuse for poor performance at work.
I have also been wondering about diagnosis, is there really anything wrong with me. Do I just make too much fuss about small fluctuations in my mood or do I really need to be aware of my moods and manage them.
I'm so pissed off with this label, if you are told you are sick in the head and your thoughts are distorted how are you ever suppose to trust anything you think again! Justbeing given this label is enough to screw you up for life even if you are perfectly well!!!
I think I spend too much time analysing my moods and just need to let go. I really fear being psychotic again though!