Friday, June 02, 2006

Bubble Burst!

It has been another busy week, I have been productive at work and things are still going well, I have been feeling like a normal happy person. I don't ever remember being so content.

I think spliting up with my ex was the best thing that ever happened to me. It used to hide behind him in social situations as he made me feel safe. The only problem was I did not do anything on my own - on the rare occasions that I wanted to he would stop me by not approving of my chosen activity.

Leaving him has made me face up to my problems - ok things came to a nasty crash but I got through it and the outcome was I am getting some much needed help.

The interdepartmental football team is going ahead, I am still really looking forward to it! We have even ordered football shirts.

I am going to stay with my sister and my nephew in the morning. Ihave not talked about my nephew much on here, he is two and a half years old and he is a lot of fun. I feel very protective of him - he is gorgous!! I am starting to feel a bit tired, I have not seen my nephew for about 6 weeks though and he changes so quickly at the moment.

I am addicted to blogging and chat rooms at the moment - I came straight home from work and log in every day. It probably isn't healthly but it is less like comming home to an empty house - I really don't like living on my own and blogging make me feel less lonely! I got quite stressed when I got home and could not login.

I suddenly feel quite low, I am going to go and make some dinner and go to bed, I have had an on top of the world week but the bubble has burst!


I don't want my psychiatrist to increase my medication further, I hate being on the pills and they make me sleep a lot. I do seem to be a lot better taking them later in the evening though, I just struggle getting up. The last few days I don't think I have slept as much. Normally I sleep about 10 hours a night but the last few nights I have woken up naturally after 7 hours. I felt really well though!

I guess I was a bit high - but oh well I had fun, I have BP II so I do not need to worry about getting too manic and I have not spent any money. I spent a few thousand pounds on nothing last year so I now have my savings in accounts where I need to give notice to get it out. I am going to go to bed early and hope things seem better in the morning - I have felt worse.


Raine said...

Hope you'll feel better in the morning

Annie said...

Thanks, It is gone midight and I am still up :o(

Sage said...

Hi Annie, Amazing to see you cycle in the middle of a post. Being BPII as well I can relate. It does happen frequently when we get tired so worry not. BTW May I order one of you Football shirts? I collect them and have a collection of 56 at present. Do yours have any kind of Logo?
Rest well

james said...

Hello Annie. I am a 22 year old and I believe I have a psychological problem that may be similar to yours (albiet alot less severe). I am being counselled for social anxiety but I now think that I may have suffered selective mutism as a child and dealt with it by mimmicking others. I did suffer from low spells in my teens where I would self harm but I never sought any treatment. Now I am 22 I either use a mock voice or just keep quiet. It is very frustrating. AT home I take such pleasure in conversation. I am finding it difficult to nail down my problem. I am interested in the subject of your blog and I have bookmarked it... I also keep a blog but i don't deal with my problem on the blog.


Annie said...

Hi James,

Thanks for stopping by and saying hello!

Anonymous said...

Super color scheme, I like it! Good job. Go on.