Saturday, January 10, 2009

a bit better today...

I've had a better day to day but I still feel so low. My confidence has had a major knock as it all relied on work and my success at work. Now I know that those who built my confidence did so on a wonky foundation. I am not good, at least not as good as anyone else in the office. They have been so patronising saying yes you are good, just not as good as me and not as good as anyone else because they are just better. So where does that leave me!!!!

I've had friends round this afternoon, we went for dinner. One of my friends stayed a bit longer and we went for a drink. I talked a bit and again it is helping me get things back in perspective.

I took extra quetiapine last night to help me sleep. I do not like the dizzy sensation it gives me. I'm staying completely off alcohol for the time being. I will take extra quetiapine again tonight just to make sure I sleep. When I woke up this morning my limbs were so heavy but today my mind has rested.

Tomorrow I am going to the gym and in the evening I am going o a pub quiz with a friend. I am still trying to keep busy and get things back into perspective.

Work sucks and I am angry at some people. I guess it is better I am hating them than hating myself. I like my job and other colleagues just a few have been arseholes.

5 comments:

Mr. Blue said...

Sorry to hear about your asshole co-workers. At least you don't seem to be letting it get to you. It's okay to hate someone as long as it's not you ;)

Raine said...

You know, I have read over the last few posts and it really sounds to me as if they are supportive. I dont know how it is in England but here well.........unless you are in a government job with union protection, anyone having problems is quite likely to be fired with no explanantion so that they cannot be sued.

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Annie said...

I think I'll go for a good work out this weekend!

Annie said...

Raine the company is good but I have to fight for what I need and theyforget I need support when I need it most. Like everyone does really. They do want to help tho'but only to meet their legal obligations. I don't believe there is anyone who cares about me more than there job or legal responsibility :'o( Maybe that's just the depression talking :'o(