Wednesday, January 14, 2009


I have been taking extra Quetiapine and today I have reached a happy state. I think about all the troubles, all the changes at work, the closer supervision and the thoughts leave my mind as soon as they enter. To hold any thoughts in my mind I have to struggle and put some effort in.

I'm happy for now. I feel so much better and relaxed. I'm still a little concerned about work but maybe not concerned enough rather than too much, or maybe just the right amount of concern, who knows!!! This is bliss. I can rest. It is just like my brain has gone on holiday.

I'm starting a list of things I need to talk to my new supervisor about next week. My manager has not said anything about my diagnosis, I'd prefer to know a little about whether he is being sympathetic or just looking at this as another problem to overcome. Still a little anxious here.

I've decided to ask for help when needed and believe me if their attitude towards me changes I will take it all as far as I possibly can through any courts that will listen and the legal system. I'm sedated but not stupid and not a push over. This being patient and waiting is only possible because of the meds.

I'm worried that I am too self centred too! All my effort goes into managing the illness I don't often get time for anything else. I went to see my friend tonight but I could not talk to her and she did not appear interested.

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